I Need To Know What Tom Brady Has Been Doing These Last 15 Years To Have This Kind Of Transformation

This is something that’s been discussed a lot, as recently as the rundown last week, and perhaps has even been blogged before: but the transformation that Tom Brady and Julian Edelman have completed since becoming New England Patriots is just silly. That side-by-side from the NFL last night is staggering. It pains me to say this but Tom Brady kinda went from looking like a retarded kid who got sent home from school for cutting his own hair with the arts and crafts scissors to Mr. Sex.

So what did he do? Yeah, I know some people will call me an idiot and say this is just what “diet” and “exercise” and “money” do to a person, but there’s a little something else. There’s an X factor there. Is it the avocado ice cream? KFC says it’s plastic surgery, was that it? Is Alex Guerrero rubbing some special oils on Tom’s face every night? What exactly is it, because I need to find it. And by “find it” I mean I’m just going to casually get fatter and grosser while telling myself “Brady got hotter with age, I’m sure you will too. No worries.”